In today’s climate of rising hostility, violence, and legislative attacks against LGBTQ+ people many with intersectional identities, being an ally is no longer optional. It’s essential—especially for trans and nonbinary individuals.
Passive support isn’t going to cut it anymore. Allyship requires us to get in the game meaning showing up, speaking out, and committing to ongoing learning and action, even when it’s uncomfortable. I’ve searched the internet for easily understood tips that I could incorporate in my life immediately. There was so much information, so it became a matter of visiting reputable sites, and even then, it still was hard to piece together a plan. Now, when anyone asks for a good place to start, I recommend The Savvy Ally by Jeannie Gainsburg. The book is a fantastic resource—practical, accessible, and full of real-world advice.
Organizations like GLAAD, PFLAG, GLSEN, HRC, The Trevor Project, TransAthlete, SAGE, TransLatin@ Coalition, Center for Black Equity, and the National Center for Transgender Equality offer powerful tools, guides, and community support to help allies grow in their understanding and impact.
Busting Common and Harmful Myths About LGBTQ+ People
Before we dive into actions, let’s clear up some harmful myths, some that can often lead to violence:
Myth: Being LGBTQ+ is a choice.
Truth: Sexual orientation and gender identity are deeply rooted parts of who someone is-not choices. No one chooses to be straight either.
Myth: Trans people are just confused or going through a phase.
Truth: Trans identities are valid and enduring. Studies show that when trans youth are affirmed, their mental health improves and their identities remain stable over time.
Myth: You can tell someone’s gender by how they look.
Truth: Gender identity isn’t determined by appearance. The simple and respectful thing to do is to use the name and pronouns someone shares.
Myth: Supporting trans rights is political.
Truth: Supporting human rights isn’t partisan. Every human deserves safety, dignity, and respect.
Myth: LGBTQ+ people are grooming children.
Truth: Identity isn’t taught or contagious- it’s something people discover in themselves. LGBTQ+ adults supporting youth is about providing safety and acceptance, not recruitment.
Myth: Trans people using gendered bathrooms are a safety risk.
Truth: There’s no evidence for this. In fact, trans people face higher rates of harassment and violence in bathrooms, making them the ones who need protection.
Myth: Gender-affirming care is dangerous or experimental.
Truth: It’s safe, evidence-based, and has been studied for decades. Leading medical organizations worldwide recommend it because it reduces depression and suicide risk.
Myth: Trans athletes have an unfair advantage.
Truth: Research doesn’t support that. Sports organizations already set eligibility guidelines, and inclusion helps ensure fair competition without excluding people for who they are.
Myth: LGBTQ+ elders don’t face discrimination anymore.
Truth: Many still face barriers in housing, healthcare, and economic security - especially trans and BIPOC elders. They’re more likely to experience isolation because of a lifetime of stigma.
Myth: Trans Latinx immigrants are safe in the U.S.
Truth: Many experience systemic discrimination in housing, healthcare, and the legal system, leaving them vulnerable. Intersectional biases mean they often face higher risks of violence and deportation.
Myth: Black LGBTQ+ people are fully represented in media and advocacy.
Truth: Black queer and trans people are often underrepresented or stereotyped. They face layered, intersectional, discrimination from racism, homophobia, and transphobia. Their voices are vital, yet they’re too often left out of leadership roles and mainstream narratives.
What Real Allyship Looks Like
You don’t need a platform or a megaphone to be an ally. Here are some powerful ways to show up:
Educate Yourself.
Read books like The Savvy Ally, follow LGBTQ+ creators, and stay informed about current issues affecting the community.
Use Inclusive Language.
Practice using people’s correct pronouns. If you make a mistake, apologize briefly and move on. Normalize sharing your own pronouns too.
Speak Up Against Harm.
If you hear someone misgendering, using slurs, or making jokes at the expense of LGBTQ+ people, say something—if it’s safe to do so.
Support Trans-Led Organizations.
Donate, volunteer, or amplify the work of groups led by and for trans people.
Create safe spaces, in homes, workplaces, and schools.
Safe and inclusive environments are where individuals of all sexual orientations and gender identities can build communities where they feel supported, accepted, and connected.
Challenge Anti-LGBTQ+ Policies.
Contact your representatives, vote, and advocate for inclusive laws and protections.
What If You’re Afraid to Speak Up?
In today’s world, intervening—especially if you fear for your safety or being misidentified—can make you feel nervous. Here are some strategies that may help at any stage of your ally journey:
Use indirect methods: Change the subject, offer support privately, or report the incident.
Practice simple phrases:
“Let’s keep this respectful.”
“That’s not okay.”
“I’ve been learning more about this—can we talk?”
Signal allyship visually: Display pronoun pins, rainbow flags, or inclusive posters in your space.
Model inclusive behavior: Share your pronouns, use affirming language, and correct misgendering gently.
Lean on community: you don’t have to act alone. Join ally groups (we have one and looking to expand), attend trainings, and find others who share your values.
Remember your impact.
Even small actions—like correcting a misused pronoun or showing support—can make a big difference to someone who feels unseen or unsafe.
Final Thoughts
Being an ally isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present. It’s about listening, learning, and standing up for others, even when it’s hard. In a time when LGBTQ+ people—especially trans folks—are under attack, your voice matters more than ever.
So read The Savvy Ally. Ask questions. Make mistakes and keep going. Because allyship isn’t a label—it’s a practice.
By: Roberta S. Perry